Wait, It's Over?

Today marks the end of the semester. This chapter didn't end how I had planned, which means that God was in charge which I am SO happy about because everything ended way better than I could have imagined. I have so many wonderful friends. My whole family is under one roof (even if we don't see much of each other). I have an internship doing what I love and working with wonderful women. My only complaint is that I had to say goodbye to my dear RUF friends until after Christmas break. I miss them all very much.

I'm no longer going to England next semester to do missions like I had planned. The whole thing just never came together. Something MUCH better came together, though. Last week I started interning at the Foothills Pregnancy Care Center. I really like it there. I'm working in the office,  getting a taste of what I'll be doing once I get my AOT degree from Tri-County. Another reason I'm glad I'm not going to England all next semester is kind of selfish but it's true. I really don't want to leave all the friends I just made. I'm still not around them as much as I would like to be just because I have other commitments and jobs and I don't live on campus with them. If I were to leave for the semester, I would be even more of an outsider than I already am when I get back. There are other small logistical things that need to be done that would be harder if I was over seas, but those could be dealt with. Overall, I think this internship will be really beneficial and give me good experience before I jump headfirst into the work force.

Now classes are over, everyone is going home, and it is time to start decorating for Christmas! Time to sleep late, make and eat lots of bad-for-you food, hang out with old friends, and get the house ready for family coming. Oh! How I love the holidays :)

Some of the freshman came over a couple weeks ago and we made brinner. Lots of good food and good laughs. 

A couple freshman girls at April's house for the last freshman girls dinner

God Works in Mysterious Ways

I came to Chick-fil-A this afternoon to drink my free sprite, have some time with Jesus, study, and procrastinate (where the internet is better than at Mommoms). I'd been here for a little over an hour, and Jesus had a different plan for my afternoon. I woke up feeling discouraged today. I've been sick for over a week now and my body and soul were feeling weak.
I got to CFA and sat down to have my quiet time and realized I left my headphones in Anderson. CFA isn't noisy, but it's not peaceful, either. It's not the type of place I can concentrate easily and hear from God. I was trying to read Scripture, but my mind just wouldn't focus. I look up and Megan Jessee walked in. We're not really friends, but she was roommates with one of my youth leaders and when I worked at CFA I talk for a minute when I took her order. She sat down at the table next to me and we said hey. I asked if she had an extra pair of headphones. She said she didn't. So what did she do? She gave me the ones she was going to use. I told her I was fine, that they were hers and she should use them. She wouldn't take no for an answer. She insisted that I use them. I got back to my quiet time and was finally able to concentrate.
When I was about done, I saw Russell Newton and his friends walk in. We're not really friends either, but he is dating one of Dani's sister's best friends. Russell started working at CFA a couple months ago and with the weather getting cold, he needed a CFA jacket. I had one from working here last winter and I told him a few weeks ago he could buy it from me for $15. Last night Dani gave me the money from Russell and it was $25. When I saw him today, I knew I needed to give him $10 because he way over-payed me. I tried to give him the money and he wouldn't take it. He said that someday I'd need $10 for something.
Then he and his friends sat down and he proceeded to lead them in a Bible Study. Talk about being encouraged! They were talking about one of my favorite verses, 2 Cor 4:18 "So we fix our eyes not one what is seen but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." I heard these boys discuss things like football and iPhones in terms of scripture and how one day, they will all just disappear. It all just kind of brought me out of my bundle of self absorbed pity. Duh, Alyssa, IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!
God works in all kinds of different ways to get a point across. It took me a while to listen, but I got it. At least for today....
Also I just love seeing the body of Christ working, teaching each other through obeying Him. I hardly even know these people that have blessed me today, but we all have one big thing in common. We're all living for things unseen. It give you a little glimpse of the way things should be. The way they WILL be. 

A little bit too ADD tonight

Alas, I have failed to blog for the past couple weeks. I'm a horrible blogger. And it's not even that nothing exciting has happened. I think my problem is that SO MUCH is happening that I forget to take time to do things like write. I guess I'll take a couple sentences for each major thing that has happened in the past monthish.

Random side note for those of you who didn't see this picture on facebook. My hair is so long! These pictures were taken a year and a half apart. Crazy. Kinda blowing my mind.

Ok, first and most exciting things on the agenda: I KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO MAJOR IN! This has been a long road getting to where I am. I've been saying I want to be a party planner or event organizer,  but I could never find a good major for that. Communication would work, but I would have to take 4 semesters of a foreign language and I don't get along well with foreign languages because of my dyslexia. I went to the career counselor at TCTC and we talked for about 15 min and he came up with what I should do. TCTC has a program called Administrative Office Technologies. With this degree, I would become a office administrator which basically means I would be working right below the supervisor planning, scheduling, and doing secretarial and clerical things. One of my friends calls me the super secretary, which is very fitting. What this also means is that I just have to get a 2 year degree which is FANTASTIC! The more I learn about this degree I realize it targets all my strengths. I'm just so happy! :)

Numero 2, you guys just need to realize how great my grandmother is. For real. A week and a half ago we made cookies, played Rummikub, and just talked. I'm finding out all kinds of things about her that I never would have known if I hadn't been spending all this time with her. One of my favorite bits of information (which I hear frequently because she forgets she's told me) is that she was dating other guys up until she got engaged to my grandpa. WHAT?! She justifies it by saying he lived in Florida and she was still in Georgia, but let's be real. That's crazy! Granted, it was about 60 years ago and things have changed since then but somehow I feel like that might have been a little weird even back then.

Thirdly, last weekend Jenny and I hopped in the car and drove 10 hours up to Aunt Patti and Nuckle Pete's house for the weekend to see our long-lost brother, Ryan. Normally we both HATE car trips but this was actually very enjoyable. Jenny and I are the same brand of weird. You stick us in a car together for 10 hours and the weird shines very brightly. Also, my brother has the best job ever this semester. He's a packaging science inturn at Godiva in Pennsylvania which means that they test the packaging of chocolate and then he is told to throw it away. Thankfully Ryan has a brain and doesn't throw it away. Instead, he takes it home and gives it to his family and friends. HOLLA!!! Next time you see me, if I've gained about 20 lbs, blame the chocolate. So anyway, we spent 3 full days in Maryland hanging out with Ryan, cousins, aunt, uncle, cousins friends, and our cousins adorable daughters. It was a great and restful weekend. I was kinda sad to come home to the real world again. 

Numba four, I have awesome friends. Some I've known since we were born, some I met in August at RUF, and other I met along the way, but I love them all. I've been looking back through my blessings book and seeing a strong trend how God uses people to convey His love to me through them. That doesn't seem to make a lot of sense now that I wrote it down, but its true. I've been trying to figure out what my love language is and I know for sure I'm bilingual, (and I don't know how much I believe the whole love language thing but thats a whole different arena) but I think mine might be gifts or acts of service. My friends are one of thousands of God's daily gifts to me which He gave specifically to me, and me to them. Because I'm a people person, when I have deep conversations or fun evening with my friends, I find joy in those times and feel God's love. I know He is taking care of me and providing EXACTLY what I need. That is huge to me. 

Well friends, I think that is about all I have time for tonight. There was actually a lot more I had planned to talk about buuuuut I talked too much about the other things and now I'm ready for bed. Hopefully I'll get the ball rolling and maybe blog a little more consistently. Maybe not. But for now, goodnight to all, and to all a good night! 

P.S. I did a little face juggling today and found these 2 particularly wonderful and wanted to share them with you all. Enjoy!

Dani's Birthday Kidnapping

Tomorrow my darling Danielle turns 18. To celebrate this momentous occasion, Jake, Johnston, and I decided we should kidnap Dani. Our original plan was to make it as terrifying as possible. We were going to wear ski masks and go in her house, put something over her head, tie her up, and throw her in the car. Instead, we got to her house at 5:15 am and I went into her room to wake her up while the boys stayed downstairs. Now, Dani is my bro. We're pretty tight. I gently woke her up and told her that Johnston and Jake were downstairs and she had 30 min to get ready (how thoughtful of us, right?). She then proceeded to say "I'm going to kill you" at least 10, if not more, times. She is too sweet. She went to take a shower while I sat in the kitchen with the boys and Mrs. DiMuzio. 30 minutes later (5:45 am), she came downstairs trying to figure out what was going on. We wouldn't tell her anything. We piled in Jake's Jeep and started driving. About an hour later we were getting close to our destination and didn't want Dani to know where we were. I took her sweatshirt and put it around her head so she couldn't see.

Yeah. She was in good hands. The boys led her to a seat and when we took the sweatshirt off her head, this is what she saw.

It was breath taking, to say the least. We hung out there for a little over an hour, then got back in the car to go to our next destination. I thought we were going to eat breakfast. It was now 8:30 and we had been up for over 4 hours at this point. Because we didn't want Dani to know what we were doing next, Jake couldn't tell me where we were going, so the rest was as much of a surprise to me as it was Dani. 

We got to this little town and pulled into the college they had, Brevard College. Jake told us about these white squirrels from Australia. Like the cool kids we are, we literally chased white squirrels around the campus.

Like I said, we're pretty cool. Pictured above is Johnston, trying to catch one of the squirrels. We got some nice looks from the locals. 

Once we finished our squirrel chasing, we found a McDonalds and ate breakfast accompanied by hilarious babies, flying cups, and wacky conversation before arriving back in Clemson by 12ish.

Over all, it was a great morning. Dani got over wanting to kill me fairly early on in the day which allowed us to have a lovely bromantic day. I told Dani this is the best 18th birthday she'll ever have, and I think she agreed.

Cookie Dough Cupcake Fail

Last year at TCTC, Dani and I had an awesome English teacher. We like her a lot. Her birthday was last week and she asked that we make her muffins or cupcakes. I found this amazing recipe on pinterest for cupcakes with cookie dough in the middle.

This kind of symbolizes our attempt. 

The recipe said that all you had to do was make your normal cupcake batter, pour it into the cupcake/muffin tin, then put a frozen ball of cookie dough on top and it'll sink to the middle of the cupcake and not bake into a cookie because it is frozen. Everyone on the blog said it worked really well. 

Lies. Lies I tell you! 

This is what ours did. Nailed it.

Yes, my friends, there is a cookie nicely baked onto the top of each of our cupcakes. Thankfully, Dani and I have a good sense of humor and just stood there looking at them laughing with tears running down our faces at how much we fail at baking. 

The next batch we made we decided to pour a little bit of cake batter, put the frozen cookie dough in, then pour the rest of the batter. 

Oh. My.Word.

They came out looking like normal cupcakes and BOY did they taste amazing! I didn't take a picture of them because, well, they just looked like your average cupcakes. Even the first batch we made that didn't look pretty still tasted amazing. That's one thing I really like about baking. It's hard to screw something up beyond repare. It might not look good but its dessert. It'll taste good no matter what. Pretty sure I ate about 5 of them. 

So what is the take home lesson from this? 

Don't believe everything you read on pinterest. They lie. 

Give Him my hands, not my plans

Moving in with my grandma hasn't been as great as I originally thought. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE it now. But a week ago, I was singing a different tune.

2 weeks ago I wrote about how God called me to Anderson to live with my grandma. The first 2 weeks have been challenging and I was questioning why he had me in Anderson. I doubted Him and wanted to move back to Clemson. 

But today, all of that changed. 

As I was getting ready to leave for the day, I went to tell my grandma goodbye. Normally I just say a quick "peace out" and leave. For some reason, I didn't this afternoon. I sat down on the couch with her and put my head on her shoulder and hugged her. We sat on the couch like that and talked for a couple minutes. It was one of the most tender moments I remember having with her. We didn't have an extremely meaningful conversation, but she shared with me how glad she was to know I was around, even if she didn't see me a lot. Something in me clicked. THAT is why I'm in Anderson. I'm here to spend time with Mommom and love on her and be loved by her. 

All the reasons I wanted to move back to Clemson were selfish. Yeah, it is tiring to drive back and forth between Clemson and Anderson everyday. Yes, I end up bumming around between coffee shops and friends dorms and apartments while waiting for different meetings and classes. But let's be real here. I don't pay for my gas so I can't complain about driving so much I go through a tank of gas a week. I am part of the Body of Christ and I have friends who love me and I can go sit on their couch for a couple hours and get some homework done while waiting for RUF. God has called me here to bless my grandmother. The funny thing is, I'm pretty sure God will bless me through her as well. 

Gap Year

With graduation fading quickly in the rearview mirror, this weekend marks the start of the controversial gap year. A year ago, as all my friends were excitedly going on campus tours and filling out applications, I was chugging through my senior year without a clue as to what I was going to do the next year. I know you don't have to know what you want to major in to apply to college, but I just didn't feel like God was calling me to go as a full-time student to college fall of 2012. I was leaning towards taking a year off, but I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing. I was journalling as I prayed on October 4th and God spoke to me clearer than I've ever heard before. He told me I need to live with my grandmother in Anderson.

So here I am, 10 months later, packing up my belongings as I prepare to make the 25 minute trek to Anderson as I move for the second time in my life. I have no idea what this year has in store, but I know God has a plan for me that will glorify Him.

This year is bringing a lot of change, as well. I really struggle with worry and anxiety, so if you think of me, pray for me. For the first time in my life, I'm moving out of my parents house. I'm also moving away from my friends. And when I say friends, I don't just mean the people I met in the last year or so who I hang out with. These kids are like family. I've grown up with them. We were in the nursery together at church as infants. I KNOW these people and I love them all.

I've already shed a lot of tears over all the change happening and I know there are many more tears to come. I'm convinced if crying was an olympic sport, I'd win gold. Also, if you know of an event where they want everyone crying, just call me up and I'll get the water works going real quick haha. But for real, because I worry, daily, hourly, or even every minute I have to remind myself of God's promises from Luke 12. Jesus talks about the ravens and how they don't store up food, but daily, God provides for them. Then at the end of verse 24 he says "And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?" Then skipping down to verse 32, Jesus says "Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom." He WANTS to bless me! He is going to give me abundantly more than I need! He loves me more than I can possibly imagine. So why should I worry? 

With that in mind, I've decided to keep a blessings book. Every night, before I go to sleep, I'm going to write at least one, but probably more, ways that God has blessed me on that particular day. That way, when I start feeling overwhelmed, doubt creeps up, or anxiety and worry rear their ugly heads, I can look at scripture and see His promises and blessings there, but I can also look in my blessings book and be reminded of the ways that He has provided for and blessed me. 

I've been sitting here trying to figure out how to end this blog. I've always sucked at writing introductions and conclusions to papers, and blogs aren't much easier. There is so much more I want to write about in relation to this gap year I'm entering into and how God is faithful but it needs to be saved for a later date when I'm not in the middle of packing. So stick around for part 2. No idea when it's coming, but it'll be good! 

They See Her Wheelin'

My family recently just took our summer vacation in Orlando Florida, spending a day at Universal Studios and a day at Disney World. My dear sister, Jenny, is too weak to walk around theme parks both days, so we packed a wheelchair and wheeled her around Universal Studios for a day. People say you're treated differently when you are blind, deformed, or have something visibly wrong with you. As we were driving to Universal Studios that morning, I was wondering if she would be treated differently. Jenny doesn't look sick so surely people wouldn't treat her any differently. Boy was I wrong. Throughout the day, I observed all kinds of reactions to my sister in a wheel chair. Here are just a few of my favorites.

1) NOTHING is your fault. 

While trying to get into the park, we were all crowded together and it is pretty easy to hit someone with the wheelchair if you're not careful. We accidentally bumped into a lady with the chair and apologized. She gave a half hearted "its ok" then turned around to see who had hit her. As soon as her eyes hit the chair she turned into an apologizing machine. "Oh it's really my fault! I'm so sorry." with the sweetest smile on her face. 

2) You get free things

While going through security to get into the park, the man checking our bags asked my sister what is wrong with her. She told him her heart and he gave her a little trinket made out of purple plastic mardi gras beads twisted to look like a dog. How precious is that?!  

3) The "up-down"

While waiting in line for different rides I would see multiple people give Jenny this same look. They would start at her head then look all the way down to her toes, searching for bandages, scars, and deformities. When they didn't see any, some would then give the "what's your deal?!" look which leads us to number 4.

4) You get the "what's your deal?!" look

Because there is nothing visibly wrong with Jen, people thought…well…I don't know what they were thinking. Maybe they thought she was lazy. Anyway, they would give her a disapproving look. It kind of made my sassy little sister side come out and want to tell them off. 

5) Pity

In contrast to the "what's your deal?!" look, she would also get the looks of pity. These also tended to come from the ones who apologize profusely for things that aren't their fault or give you things. 

Twists and Turns

Things don't always go the way you hoped they would. It's times like these that make me thankful I've got a God who made me the way I am for a reason and He's got a perfect plan.

Today I put in my 2 weeks for my first real job. I've been working at Chick-fil-A since the beginning of the year. I love the people I work with. They are by far some of the best individuals I have ever had the pleasure of spending time with. Working side by side with them was a blessing.

So why am I quitting, you might ask. I still question if I did the right thing. What I've realized through working there is that I'm not made to work in the fast food industry. Or any extremely fast-paced business.

A couple years ago we had a suspicion that I had some type of learning disability. Last summer I went through the grueling process of being tested to see exactly what my diagnosis is and what kind of accommodations I could obtain mostly with SAT and college classes in mind. We found out what we had already expected to be true.

I'm dyslexic.

It doesn't effect me too much on a day to day basis. Most people have no idea unless I tell them. People who are in my tri-county classes probably know something's going on because I type my in-class essays while everyone else hand writes them. I also am allowed time and a half on tests if I want it. So far I haven't needed that, though, because of the classes that Ive chosen to take.

Having this job at Chick-fil-A is the first time that my learning disabilities have truly interfered with my life.

That's a hard thought to deal with.

In the fast food world, you're always pushed to go further, faster, and more accurately. Customers want their order to be correct and done quickly. It IS fast food, after all.

Because I process everything extremely slow, I'm limited. My abilities are not quite up to par. Working is always insanely stressful. It isn't where I need to be. So today I went in and tearfully explained to one of my managers that I wasn't fit for the job.

That was one of the hardest things I've done in life so far. In a way, I feel like a failure. People who don't graduate from high school can get a job at McDonalds. Why can't I, 6 weeks away from graduation, keep my job at Chick-fil-A? It also makes me mad at God, a little bit. Why did he make me this way? He gave me this job, shows me my weaknesses, then takes the job away.

How is that loving?

Isaiah 55 verses 8 and 9 say it better than I could ever try.
"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.'"

There is no way for me to fully understand God's reasons for why He does things a certain way. But I know He loves me and this is what he wants for me. He's teaching me. Sometimes, like today, it kinda sucks.

One good thing that has come from working at Chick-fil-A is that I now know more of the type of job I'm looking for as a career. I'm thankful to know that.

Am I going to miss working at Chick-fil-A? You bet.
Is this the right decision? Yup, I think it is.
Does God have a plan? You know it! He's got some amazing plan for my life. I've just got to keep living each day trusting in his strength and not mine.
Without Him, I'm nothing.

New Years Resolution

On Wednesday, Jenny, Liz, and I took a road trip up to Charlotte to see Matt Nathanson in concert. I was debating with myself whether I should bring my camera or not. I love being able to take good pictures but I always get a little paranoid taking it to crowded places. It wasn't like we had seats at this concert. We were all standing up the whole time, smushed in with everyone else. I finally decided to take it (with lots of convincing from Jenny). She was right, I needed to have my camera. It made me so happy to have pictures of the show.
Yesterday, I started to edit my pictures. I enjoy that almost as much as taking the actual picture because I get to see the finished product. While editing I realized that I hadn't taken  pictures since Christmas break. In the month of January, I didn't take a single picture. Photography is my love, my stress reliever.
What was I thinking?
So I made a promise to myself, yesterday. I will take pictures every 2 weeks. I have to. So, I guess that's my new years resolution... just a month late.

Where is your treasure?

With all the PIPA and SOPA drama going on today, it got me thinking about a lot of things. Mainly, though, what would happen if all the crazy things happen that people say will happen if the bill is passed?

Can you imagine what would happen to the American culture if Facebook, twitter, blogs, YouTube, and google, were all shut down overnight? To be honest, I have a lot of out of town friends that I would lose all contact with because I don't see them or have their contact info- just Facebook.

What would schools do, for homework assignments? Almost all of my homework is somehow related to the internet and sites that would be effected by SOPA/PIPA. What about online classes or online public school?

With the American culture being so obsessed with social media (myself included) havering all of them taken away would be quite a shock. But maybe that's what we need. Maybe we need the shock to our systems to bring us back to what is important in life. People are so afraid to miss one if their friends tweets and not know what everyone is talking about later that day. We get so caught up in our little circle. We become self serving. We forget that their are other people who have greater needs than we do.

So say all those major sites went down over night. Sure, it would be weird for a few days, but after the shock has worn off, where would that leave us? Would we, as plugged in Americans, be able to function? Or would we always have this empty feeling?

Its a scary thought, but a reality.

The sad thing is, as Christians, we are just as caught up in this as everyone else. But we KNOW our treasure isn't in this world. Our treasure awaits us in heaven where we have eternal life with our Father. It's time for a heart check. Do we truly believe the words we sing, read, pray, and say in church, claiming we are storing up our treasures in heaven? I don't think most of us are. We live in the here and now, totally connected online.

So my challenge for you this week is this- pray that your goals, your thoughts, your time, would be spent on furthering the Kingdom, and storing your treasures in a place that will last and can't be wiped our over night.