Real Life

I feel like I always write about very weighty subjects. Which is good for me, most of the time. It's my therapy. It's a good way for me to process things. At the same time it's really hard for me. I'm opening my heart up to everyone who reads this, which makes me vulnerable. And that is scary as heck. I don't want y'all to see my weaknesses. I would so much rather keep up a persona of having it all together. Frankly, that's just not real life. Real life is full of stuggles and mistakes. But real life through Christ is also grace, truth, beauty, joy, forgiveness, and compassion. Isn't that a wonderful thought? The Holy Spirit has had the lyrics from Jenny & Tyler's song "You Keep Loving Me" running through my mind.

"Sometimes I feel like a failure

There I've said it out loud

And I'm so afraid that I will never measure up

To what you want for me, but somehow

You keep loving me; You keep loving me

I've been sitting on this porch over an hour

Watching my neighbors live their distant lives

And the birds are singing songs that sound familiar

And I want to join them, but I don't know how

Still you keep loving me; You keep loving me

And I confess sometimes I think I'm better on my own

I can handle this alone

Shows how much I know

And I can't understand why You still woo my tired heart

Try to fill the vacant parts

Guess that's part of who You are

'Cause You keep loving me

You keep loving me

You keep loving me

You keep loving me

Sometimes I feel like a failure

There I've said it"

This discribes the Christian walk so well. It's one reason I love Jenny & Tyler so much. They write about real life. The song shows our sin and failures but Jesus woos us continually. How beautiful of a love story is that? And the crazy part is that He sees our sins way clearer than we do, yet peruses us endlessly and passionately. Ahhhh that just BLOWS MY MIND!!! 

I love how the Holy Spirit will speak to us in such a personal way exactly when we need it. Like today with the Jenny & Tyler song. For the month of January, when I'm in the car by myself, the music is off and I'm talking with God. Literally. I'm pray out loud which I'm sure can be very entertaining to the people driving around me because I'm very animated at times. Anyway, I digress. So while I'm talking I love how the Holy Spirit will put scripture and song lyrics in my head. Last Tuesday on my way back to work for the first time after 2 weeks off for Christmas break, I was extremely nervous. Satan was telling me I was a nuisance and a failure at my job, that they didn't want me and I needed to quit working at the Pregnancy Center. I was struggling. The Holy Spirit put Zephaniah 3:17 in my head "The Lord our God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Let me tell ya, that brought tears to my eyes. Like dang. He is with me, He is quieting all my fears and anxieties, and he is REJOICING over me.

No matter what my stuggles are, He is constant, He is faithful, and He loves me unconditionally.