Late last summer, my life took an unexpected turn. I broke up with my boyfriend. At the time, it was horribly hard, and it still can be at times. Looking back now, it's the best thing that could have happened to me. But before it got good, it was hard. So. So. Hard.
One day in October was especially difficult. I'm not sure why, I think I was feeling really lonely and missing having a friend to hang out with all the time. I lay on my bed crying, and the only words I could get out were "Jesus, it hurts. It hurts. It hurts." Hardly a prayer, but the Father saw, and his heart couldn't stay away. He acted, he loved, he came to me-- because that's who he is.
In that moment, he gave me the sweetest vision.
Jesus was sitting on the throne in Heaven and I was sitting on his lap with my arms wrapped around his neck, weeping into his neck. He had is arms around me tightly, tears streaming down his face. From the look on his face it was so clear that he was hurting just as much as I was. Slowly and sweetly, music started playing. It was the most beautiful song I had ever heard.
It was the song of His love for me.
I looked up at Jesus and He smiled down at me, but then the smile turned into a little smirk and he stood up taking my hand as he walked to the middle of the throne room and started swing dancing. Out of nowhere he starts doing all these flips and throwing me in the air, and within seconds we are laughing and dancing our hearts out. Through all this, the song hadn't changed. It was still the sweet, steady, song of His love.
I asked God what that meant, and he said he wanted me to know that my pain is real, and he sees it and it hurts him too. BUT he doesn't want us to stay there. He wants to turn my mourning into dancing! He wants to have fun and celebrate together, even if the music doesn't match the dance.
Love is fun.
Love is an adventure.
Love is trusting the one who is leading not to drop you when he decides to throw you in the air because safe is boring.
Love is crying with my Jesus, but him not letting me stay there because he turns my mourning into JOY!
